As I walked home this evening through my own little town of Bethlehem, I saw a woman running laps in the caged in paved soccer field in the dark. I couldn’t help but do a double take and stare in awe. All this time the locals have forced me to feel like nothing other than a freak of nature when going on jogs. If I only knew my self-esteem could have been protected by a cage amongst the darkness of night. I could not help but giggle, and I was reminded that it’s the small, unique and perhaps the awkward encounters that bring joy to my life. One of the first things my mom asked me when we met in Ireland was, “Do you like it? Are you happy?” My response, “I couldn’t be happier! Although I’m so far from those who mean the most to me, and on a daily basis I’m put in anxiety ridden situations…I feel more alive, more like the person I’m suppose to be and enjoy being.” Yet today, a week after I watched my family fade away into the Shannon Airport, was the first time I truly smiled and felt that pilot light inside reignite.
I knew it would be difficult to leave my family again but I didn’t expect that I would have to
start my integration all over again. Prior to leaving Romania, I had forgotten the ease and comforts I once had in going to buy food using English, experiencing customer service AKA someone who is not angry that they have to assist you and even waiting in an actual line, where people are not pushing or simply walking directly to the front. When I left, I had nothing but praises for Campulung Moldovenesc but upon returning my heart could only sing, “once upon a time I was falling in love, now I’m only falling apart.” Needless to say, it has taken me a few days to get back on my feet and tell people I had a vacation of a lifetime without getting tears in my eyes.
Over these past few days, it simply took an excursion to the pharmacy, where I didn’t need an actual prescription to purchase medication, an invitation to my tutor’s house for a family dinner and a woman running in caged darkness for me to remember that this is where I want to be… a total eclipse of the heart.
I knew it would be difficult to leave my family again but I didn’t expect that I would have to
start my integration all over again. Prior to leaving Romania, I had forgotten the ease and comforts I once had in going to buy food using English, experiencing customer service AKA someone who is not angry that they have to assist you and even waiting in an actual line, where people are not pushing or simply walking directly to the front. When I left, I had nothing but praises for Campulung Moldovenesc but upon returning my heart could only sing, “once upon a time I was falling in love, now I’m only falling apart.” Needless to say, it has taken me a few days to get back on my feet and tell people I had a vacation of a lifetime without getting tears in my eyes.Over these past few days, it simply took an excursion to the pharmacy, where I didn’t need an actual prescription to purchase medication, an invitation to my tutor’s house for a family dinner and a woman running in caged darkness for me to remember that this is where I want to be… a total eclipse of the heart.
1 comment:
Beautiful. I have tears in my eyes =)
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