Dear Mr. Pandemonium,

Did you soak my clothing in Cat Nip or perhaps something that only the canine nose can detect? All week they have been barking aggressively and coming at me as if I were Cruela Devil…and I’m not even the one dressed head to toe in fur winter gear. I clearly stand out walking through town in my non-fur snowsuit, which I like to refer to as my shark suit…if only I had chain mail armor…they’d never get to me then. Being this has been the coldest week of the winter, why aren’t all the dogs hiding in cardboard boxes somewhere? Is it necessary that they alert all the dogs within a ½ mile radius (or at least as far as I can hear) that I’m coming?

Other than the distressing dog situation, which I thought I finally had under control after 2 years, I’ve enjoyed seeing the new oddities that a change in weather brings. Not only did I thoroughly enjoy watching a young boy ice skate down the street but I was highly entertained by his tactics of getting safely around the particular dog he was afraid of (ok, maybe I do have a little Cruela in me). One night I enviously observed two guys being towed on downhill skis behind a car on the road. It reminded me of all the fun we had up at the cabin, skiing, snowboarding and tobogganing behind the snowmobile. That old Yamaha is so old and cumbersome that it’s probably the same size as the Dacia that was pulling those two skiers, and not to mention, smell the same. Why does the car exhaust here smell like that of snowmobiles and boats? I have honestly pondered that from Day 1 in Romania, so I’m open to suggestions. Also, as I alluded to before… the Fur Mania. Walking down the street of Cȃmpulung, I honestly thought I was walking amongst a herd of sheep protected by wolves or whatever else it is they de-fur. I think I just might have to invest in one of those big hats…they crack my shit up! And I swear on God’s green earth, my bathroom was so cold that I observed for the first time in my life a real live Cleveland Steamer.

Sincerely,

The Dog Whisperer