You Say Goodbye...and I Say Hello

I remember the day I left like it was yesterday… After only two hours of sleep I was off to the airport at 4am with tear stained eyes and my entire family. Fortunately I had no more tears to cry as my breakdown three hours ago took every last drop; so I was left a bundle of nervous energy – the kind that makes you shake like you’ve drank too much coffee (not that I’ve ever done that.) And surprisingly, my three day old perm was no confident boost. A family friend at the airport helped grant my family “Military Access” so they could all come to the gate and wait with me. One of the security guards asked my sister which division I was in and her reply was one more of query, “Uh…the one that…uh...solves world peace?”

Since that departure, people have seemed to come in and out of my life at a much faster pace; yet we still managed to develop intimate relationships of understanding that will forever leave an impact on who I am. Some of these people I will stay in contact with but more than likely, I’ll never see the majority of them again. Perhaps it’s a result of getting older and going through more goodbyes or possibly the effect of emotional isolation over the past year or maybe neither one – either way, the goodbyes have not gotten any less disappointing but they have become more…I guess one could say, non-chalant. Meaning…less emotional, and perhaps less informal. Difficult to explain. Maybe at some point in your life you reach a particular limit and you become conditioned to think, “well, that’s that – time to move on.” Good or bad – nothing lasts forever.

Anyways, this past month or so has been filled with exciting new beginnings, nonchalant endings and a whole lot of that stuff that happens in between. I’ve gotten the opportunity to do so much recently that I hate to leave anything out but for the sake of trying to keep this remotely interesting ...I’ll say goodbye.

It's a...a...a Freeway!

Life continues to be a whirlwind of adventure and awkwardness…well, perhaps not so much of a whirlwind but more of a slow Polka. Once again I took advantage of my location and went with Keith and Tiffany (PCV’s) to Macedonia, Albania and Greece. I really had no idea what to expect but it was amazing. The more I get to travel, the more I realize is out there and the deeper my sense of curiosity delves. Additionally, the opportunity to travel around the Balkans has only helped me get a better grasp of Romania’s history and mentality. Obviously Greece was spectacular and had more history than I could process. However, it was Macedonia and Albania that captured my intrigue. Tourism there is a bit more raw and for me, I think you get to see the country and culture in a more realistic atmosphere. In Albania we were able to stay with a few different Peace Corps Volunteers, which was fun to see what they did, where they lived and hear about their experiences. Other than the gorgeous landscape, one of my favorite aspects was meeting so many fascinating people from around the world (Evangelical missionaries, Irish “IT” man, 2 guys biking around the globe, a Chinese girl who was on the Albanian Big Brother, Czech ladies on the ferry and the list goes on.)

Since Macedonia and Albania are not in the EU, I was expecting to see countries that were worse off than Romania. This was not at all the case in Macedonia, at least based on appearances. It had a very modern aura and the roads…my goodness; we traveled on a real live freeway! Here we are getting to go to places like Athens and all we could think about was how nice the roads in Macedonia were! As soon as we crossed the border on foot to Albania, there was an immediate change back to the roads that we are use to…except in place of the infamous Dacias were massive amounts of Mercedes Benzes (however you’d pluralize that.) On our journey through Albania, I observed several life size dolls on or hanging from the roofs of houses and a plethora of concrete bunkers. Apparently the dolls are used to protect the home from the Evil Eye and the 700,000+ bunkers were built in the 1960’s in the case of a military attack. In order to get the bunker job, the architect had to climb inside his own created bunker while the military fired away; if he survived the job was his. Also, it was mostly men who were out and about, so that was a bit eerie at times; especially on our bus ride from Albania to Athens when Tiffany and I were two of five women on the entire bus. When we arrived at the border of Greece, there was an endless line of buses all filled with Albanian men attempting to find work in Greece. Since I’m guessing not all of them were legit, we sat at the border for 6 hours! Once we finally got to Athens, the amount of English we heard was overwhelming. For the first time in over a year we could understand not only our own conversation but also those around us – it was a grand and much welcomed epiphany. The three of us often sat mute during our meals because it was so exciting to know what was going on at the tables next to us and even across the room. It was nice not feeling like a complete idiot for a few days. Everywhere we went, the cuisine was delicious and the abundance of lamb was a nice change from the abundance of pork. Not including Greece, the drinking culture was not quite what we have grown accustomed to here, so a variety of instances like no alcohol sales after 7pm in Macedonia tended to catch us off guard. In conclusion, I’m easily impressed by road quality.

Thinking Out Loud

Where does one go from here? Although I have a year before my Close of Service in Romania, the time has come…I need to start answering that dreaded question. Until now, I’ve been able to comfortably live these past 15 months in the present; I haven’t had to worry about the future, I haven’t had to worry about tomorrow. For the first time, I have been able to focus on today. And quite frankly, I like it. It makes me happy, I like who I am when I’m off the planning. Whether I wanted to or not, I was forced to learn how to live life on the fly and let me tell you – it is grand!

So, do I brace the future with a cold shoulder? Why go back to a life where that is impossible? To a life that has a prerequisite of planning? Where even the prerequisites cause undue stress and unhappiness? Why? Well…plain and simple, because that’s my home. That’s where my family and friends are. That’s where my heart and soul lay. That’s where my mentality was created, my need for competition derived, my sense of curiosity sparked and freedom allowed me to become me. Consequently, where does one go from here?